Let's get into what's keeping you stuck.
Relationship therapy for couples, parents, families, and individuals.
Deeply caring means being willing to be honest.
I'm direct. No bullshit. And I care deeply about the people I work with.
If you're having the same fight, shutting down, or reacting in ways you wish you wouldn't, let's look at what's happening between you. I'll get in there with you: name the pattern, challenge it with compassion, and help you practise something different.
I'm Cara, a Registered Psychotherapist, parent, and former educator. I work with people who want to change how they relate to their partners, their children, and themselves.
My approach is loving and compassionate, but that doesn't mean I'll tiptoe around the hard stuff. We can understand why a pattern developed and still be honest about what it's costing you now. Compassion and accountability belong together.
I focus on children and partners because family systems reflect how we operate in society. When we start deeply caring about our children and each other, we change how we see and relate to the systems we live inside.
You love each other. So why does it keep going like this?
You love each other. So why does it keep going like this?
You try to talk. It turns into a fight. Or one of you shuts down, and nothing gets said at all. With your kids, you hear yourself reacting in a way you promised you wouldn't.
I'm a real and imperfect parent myself. I know that caring deeply doesn't mean you always know what to do in the moment.
I see problems through a relationship lens: how we relate to ourselves, to each other, and to the world around us. The point isn't to decide who is the problem. It's to understand the cycle and how each of us can respond differently.
No time for endless discussion that goes nowhere?
That's fine. Let's get into the cycle.
Your emotions matter. But you don't have to arrive knowing how to explain every feeling. We can start with what happens between you: what sets it off, how you react, and where there's room to interrupt the pattern.
I'm training in Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy (RLT), an approach that brings directness and compassion together to confront the patterns keeping relationships stuck. It makes room for understanding the hurt beneath those patterns, taking responsibility for how we show up, and learning practical ways to relate differently.
I'll be honest with you, and I'll stay compassionate when the work gets uncomfortable. We're not here to shame you. We're here to work on what needs to change.
What we can work on together
See how I teach relational skills.
I also teach relational skills to a community of 15,000 followers on Instagram. Here's a look at what I mean by bringing honesty and compassion together.
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You don't need another script for getting your child to cooperate. Let's look at what happens inside you when parenting gets hard, and how that shapes what happens between you and your child. I work from a non-coercive, collaborative approach that takes your needs and your child's needs seriously.
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When a family gets stuck, it's easy for one person to become "the problem." We'll look at the relationships, the reactions, and the expectations around them. There's room to be honest about what's hurting and work on how you respond to one another.
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You don't need to bring a partner or your whole family to work on relationships. We can look at how you relate to yourself and others, what happens when you're hurt or overwhelmed, and the patterns you want to change.
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Let's get past arguing about the last argument. We'll look at the cycle between you: criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, or the push to be right. I bring a direct, compassionate approach, drawing on my training in RLT, to help you practise honesty, accountability, and repair.
Specialties:
Let's work on a different way of relating.
You don't have to know exactly where to start. Bring the part that keeps happening. We'll talk about what you want to change and whether working together feels like a fit.
FAQs
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I offer virtual Psychotherapy sessions for folks living in Ontario, Newfoundland, Alberta, BC, Manitoba, and Saskatchewan*
Coaching services are available internationally.
*In Canada, psychotherapy is regulated at a provincial level, but not all provinces are regulated. As of August 2023, Quebec, Ontario, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Prince Edward Island that have regulated psychotherapy. In Alberta, the bill for regulation has passed but the college is not yet open. The other provinces and territories are unregulated.
My hours are Monday to Friday between 10:00 am to 4:00 pm.
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I work form an attachment lens, meaning I focus primarily on the caregivers’ triggers and mindset and how this impacts their relationships with their kids. I take a bottom-up approach to parent support which looks like inviting parents to examine their own responses and reactions to the challenges their kids bring and teach them how to process their own emotions so that they can respond in more peaceful and connected ways. The outcome of this work is a re-wired family system! But it starts with deep attention inwards.
Sometimes parents reach out to me hoping that I can give them some formulas or strategies to increase cooperation from their kids and they are not looking to do the internal work required to shift their dynamic. But I’m different than traditional parenting or behaviour coaches who provide solution-focused, gentle-yet-disciplinarian approaches to parenting - my goal is always to enhance parents’ ability to connect with their children from within, not to “fix” or “change” their children’s behaviour.
If you want to be a “cycle breaker” in your family system but don’t know how, my approach is one way forward.
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When talking about therapy, it’s important to be mindful of the language you use. The words we choose can have a powerful impact on how our children perceive themselves and their experiences.
Telling your child that you think they "need to talk to someone" can unintentionally reinforce the idea that their feelings or challenges are problematic, a burden to us, or that they are somehow broken. This approach can create a sense of shame or embarrassment, making them feel isolated and misunderstood.
Consider framing the conversation around curiosity and mutual exploration. You might say, "I've been thinking about how we can understand our feelings better and I came across the idea of talking to someone who is really good at helping people with their emotions. What do you think about that?" This way, you’re inviting your child into a dialogue about therapy rather than dictating a solution for what you’re noticing. You might also talk about the problems you face and the experience with therapy you have had, or that you’re considering working with a therapist yourself.
By framing the conversation like this, you emphasize that seeking help is a normal and positive step in understanding oneself better. It becomes a shared journey where both of you are looking for ways to support and understand each other more deeply. This collaborative approach can reduce the stigma often associated with therapy and make your child feel more comfortable and open to the idea. It fosters a sense of teamwork and reinforces the message that seeking help is a common experience as well as a proactive and empowering choice versus a solution to weaknesses or problems.
Instead of saying, “I really think you need to talk to someone,” try, "I’ve been thinking about how you seem really sad/upset lately. I’m wondering if you have any ideas about how I can help.” Make sure to acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings without judgment. If they express worry or reluctance, let them know it’s okay to feel that way and that they’re entirely in the driver’s seat when it comes to talking with someone. Saying something like, "It’s completely normal to feel unsure about this”, or “You don’t have to talk to anyone you don’t want to talk to” can help them feel trusted and heard.
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Use ‘we’ language: This helps them feel that they are not the problem, which is a common internalization for many people. For instance, "We can find someone together who you might feel comfortable talking to," or “What are your thoughts on the two of us talking to someone? I know I play a major role in how you feel, and I want to make sure I’m helping you in the ways you want and need”. You want to also keep in mind that therapy for kids + young people specifically is most effective when it’s a joint effort.
Normalize Therapy: Watch/read/listen to/discuss stories together that feature mental health challenges and positive portrayals of therapy to reinforce that therapy is a safe space where people can talk about anything on their mind. Wherever it makes sense to do so, casually point out that many people go to therapy to understand themselves better and manage their feelings, and that ideally, every person would have a therapist to talk to about their struggles if it weren’t for stigma and lack of recourses.
Encourage Their Input: Ask them what they think therapy might be like or what they would want to get out of it. Let them know that they have full control and involvement in their therapeutic process, and that they can start and stop at any time.
Share Stories: When appropriate, share your own experiences or those of people the person you love knows (without breaking confidentiality). Hearing that someone they admire has benefitted from therapy can make the idea more relatable and less intimidating.
Listen Actively: It’s crucial to respect your loved one’s autonomy in this conversation, and you can illustrate this respect by paying deep attention to what they are saying without interrupting. Show them that you deeply empathize with them by nodding and repeating back what you’ve heard.
Avoid Assumptions: Instead of assuming you know what’s best, ask them what they think they might need. If they say they don’t know, consider that they may really not know or that they may not be ready to talk about it with you yet. It’s important to understand and respect that they might need time to warm up to the idea of therapy. They may not be ready to talk right away, and that’s okay. Keep the lines of communication open and revisit the conversation as needed. Take any resistance or withdrawal as a cue to back off.
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Yes, but I find that the most effective therapeutic work happens when I focus primarily on caregivers’ triggers, mindset, and emotional patterns - because how we show up in our relationship with our child shapes their ability to feel safe, understood, and emotionally regulated. When parents focus solely on "fixing" our child's behaviour without deeply examining our own reactions, expectations and experiences, we often miss the deeper relational dynamics at play.
I work with kids only if they want to be in therapy and feel ready to engage in the process. Therapy is most effective when a child feels safe, understood, and willing to participate. If a child is resistant or uninterested, I find that working directly with caregivers is often far more impactful.
For kids who are keen to work together, my approach is relational, collaborative, and built on trust. I meet them where they are, incorporating play, creative expression, and conversation in ways that feel natural and engaging.