Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do you support parents?
I work from an attachment lens, meaning I focus primarily on the caregivers’ triggers and mindset and how this impacts their relationships with their kids. I take a bottom-up approach to parent support which looks like inviting parents to examine their own responses and reactions to the challenges their kids bring and teaching them how to process their own emotions so that they can respond in more peaceful and connected ways. The outcome of this work is a re-wired family system! But it starts with deep attention inwards.
Sometimes parents reach out to me hoping that I can give them some formulas or strategies to increase cooperation from their kids and they are not looking to do the internal work required to shift their dynamic. But I’m different than traditional parenting or behaviour coaches who provide solution-focused, gentle-yet-disciplinarian approaches to parenting - my goal is always to enhance parents’ ability to connect with their children from within, not to “fix” or “change” their children’s behaviour.
If you want to be a “cycle breaker” in your family system but don’t know how, my approach is one way forward.
2. How do you work with couples?
When working with couples, my focus is on helping you both slow down, understand, and connect at a deeper level. Using the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), we’ll explore the emotional patterns that may be keeping you from feeling truly connected. My approach emphasizes the idea that our struggles in relationships often come from unmet needs for connection, security, and support. Together, we’ll look at how these needs are expressed in your relationship and how they might sometimes lead to defensive or dismissive behaviours.
One of the first things we’ll do is create a safe, non-judgmental space where we can remove blame. This allows you both to recognize how your unique triggers, vulnerabilities, and protective responses play into the dynamics between you. My goal is to help you both identify what each of you truly needs in those challenging moments—often, the need to feel understood, valued, and emotionally safe. Through this process, I’ll guide you in finding new ways to express these needs that invite understanding and compassion from one another, helping you replace negative patterns with interactions that foster trust, acceptance, and care.
I’ll also bring attention to the fact that our emotional responses often stem from attachment needs shaped by early experiences. We’ll work on identifying these attachment-based responses and finding ways for each of you to turn towards each other for comfort and support, building a strong foundation of “we’re in this together.”
This approach can be especially powerful if you’re parenting young children. These years can be incredibly demanding and packed with stressors that make it harder to stay attuned to each other’s needs. In couples therapy, you’ll learn tools to navigate challenges as a team, deepen your intimacy and create a connected, loving family system.
3. How should I talk to my child about seeing a therapist?
I speak with a lot of parents who are looking for a therapist for their child - maybe their child is navigating some big feelings, challenging social or school issues, and/or the dynamic at home is feeling tense or stressful at times. And despite our best efforts as parents, it’s common for conversations about seeking mental health supports to feel pathologizing for young people. Many parents tell me that their child is resistant to seeing a therapist, and as someone who understands the intersection of the wonderful benefits of therapy for children and teens and the stigma that “talking to someone” still carries, here’s some advice that I hope will help you in fostering an open and understanding conversation with your child about therapy.
When talking about therapy, it’s important to be mindful of the language you use. The words we choose can have a powerful impact on how our children perceive themselves and their experiences. Telling your child that you think they "need to talk to someone" can unintentionally reinforce the idea that their feelings or challenges are problematic, a burden to us, or that they are somehow broken. This approach can create a sense of shame or embarrassment, making them feel isolated and misunderstood.
Consider framing the conversation around curiosity and mutual exploration - you might say, "I've been thinking about how we can understand our feelings better and I came across the idea of talking to someone who is really good at helping people with their emotions. What do you think about that?" This way, you’re inviting your child into a dialogue about therapy rather than dictating a solution for what you’re noticing. You might also talk about the problems you face and the experience with therapy you have had, or that you’re considering working with a therapist yourself.
By framing the conversation this way, you emphasize that seeking help is a normal and positive step in understanding oneself better. It becomes a shared journey, where both of you are looking for ways to support and understand each other more deeply. This collaborative approach can reduce the stigma often associated with therapy and make your child feel more comfortable and open to the idea. It fosters a sense of teamwork and reinforces the message that seeking help is a common experience as well as a proactive and empowering choice versus a solution to weaknesses or problems.
Make sure to acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings without judgment. If they express worry or reluctance, let them know it’s okay to feel that way and that they’re entirely in the driver’s seat when it comes to talking with someone. Saying something like, "It’s completely normal to feel unsure about this”, or “You don’t have to talk to anyone you don’t want to talk to” can help them feel trusted and heard. Instead of saying, “I really think you need to talk to someone,” try, "I’ve been thinking about how you seem really sad/upset lately. I’m wondering if you have any ideas about how I can help.”
Tips for a Warm, Collaborative and Inclusive Conversation:
1. Use ‘We’ Language: This helps your child feel that they are not the problem, which is a common internalization for young people. For instance, "We can find someone together who you might feel comfortable talking to," or “What are your thoughts on the two of us talking to someone? I know I play a major role in how you feel, and I want to make sure I’m helping you in the ways you want and need”. You want to also emphasize that therapy for young people is most effective when it’s a joint effort.
2. Normalize Therapy: Watch/read/listen to/discuss stories together that feature mental health challenges and positive portrayals of therapy to reinforce that therapy is a safe space where people can talk about anything on their mind. Wherever it makes sense to do so, casually point out that many people, including adults, go to therapy to understand themselves better and manage their feelings, and that ideally, every person would have a therapist to talk to about their struggles if it weren’t for stigma and lack of recourses.
3. Encourage Their Input: Ask your child what they think therapy might be like or what they would want to get out of it. Let them know that they have full control and involvement in their therapeutic process, and that they can start and stop at any time.
4. Share Stories: When appropriate, share your own experiences or those of people your child knows (without breaking confidentiality). Hearing that someone they admire has benefitted from therapy can make the idea more relatable and less intimidating.
5. Listen Actively: It’s crucial to respect your child’s autonomy in this conversation, and you can illustrate this respect by paying deep attention to what your child is saying without interrupting. Show them that you deeply empathize with them by nodding and repeating back what you’ve heard.
6. Avoid Assumptions: Instead of assuming you know what’s best, ask your child what they think they might need. If they say they don’t know, consider that they may really not know or that they may not be ready to talk about it with you yet. It’s important to understand and respect that your child might need time to warm up to the idea of therapy. They may not be ready to talk right away, and that’s okay. Keep the lines of communication open and revisit the conversation as needed. Take any resistance or withdrawal as a cue to back off.
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Discussing therapy with your child is a significant step towards supporting their mental and emotional well-being, and by approaching the topic with curiosity, empathy, and respect you can create a safe space for them to express their thoughts and feelings openly. I often remind parents that when it comes to supporting their teen, their goal should always be to empower their child to feel comfortable and supported in seeking the help they need and want, without feeling like their challenges are a burden or a problem for the parent.
If you have further questions about talking to your child about therapy, I suggest booking a 1:1 parent coaching appointment with me to work through some of your concerns and fears prior to speaking with them so we can cultivate the best possible experience for you and your wonderful young person.
4. What can we expect from family therapy?
In family therapy, you can expect a collaborative, non-judgmental space where each member’s voice is valued. My goal is to help you explore the ways you interact and respond to each other, uncovering the underlying emotions, needs, and patterns that may be affecting your relationships. Family therapy provides an opportunity to address any longstanding issues or conflicts that might be contributing to stress and to learn new ways of communicating that create a supportive and connected family environment.
We’ll work on helping each member of the family recognize and express their feelings in ways that foster closeness. Whether there are conflicts between parents and children, sibling dynamics, or broader family struggles, our sessions will focus on identifying where each person’s needs are coming from and how to address them in ways that benefit the whole family.
As a family therapist with a background in attachment-based and emotionally focused approaches, I’ll guide you through the process of responding to one another’s needs and triggers with empathy and compassion. This often involves exploring deeper emotional patterns that might be driving current behaviours and discovering new ways of relating that feel more connected, respectful, and enjoyable for everyone involved.
In family therapy, you can expect to learn tools for navigating challenges together, building a sense of teamwork and mutual respect. For families with young children, these tools can be particularly valuable, helping you develop skills to handle the unique demands of these years in a way that strengthens, rather than strains, your family’s bond. By focusing on emotional awareness and positive communication, family therapy offers a pathway toward a more harmonious, resilient family dynamic where each member feels valued and supported.